Thankful

Well once again Thanksgiving has come and gone, everyone has eaten too much, the good dishes are washed and put away until Christmas, and the crazy family members have retreated to their homes for another month. This year, Thanksgiving was very different for us here at the Shope house, Doyle had to work so Abby and I spent the day at my mamaw's house with my family. We missed not having him with us but at the same time enjoyed being around those we hardly get to visit with. I remember the excitement about going to mamaw and papaw's house for the holidays when I was growing up. All the cousin's would get together and have a blast! This year was the first year that Abby really showed excitement for getting to spend the day with her cousins. It brought back a lot of sweet memories for me since the cousins she was excited about seeing belong to the cousin I was always close to growing up. I loved hearing their laughter and whispers as they played.

As I sat there listening to the giggles from the kids I felt like it was twenty years earlier and I was in the middle of all the giggling. It's funny how when you are a kid the people you love seem to have some sort of age freeze. I remember my mamaw always being so radiant and busy all the time and my mom always seemed tall to me. Sitting at the dinner table yesterday I realized that time had claimed mamaws radiance and had somehow shrunk my mom. I know this sounds a bit crazy but it broke my heart to watch my mamaw, the person I grew up adoring so much, struggle for breath. If there was ever a time I wished for a time machine it was right there in that moment. I couldn't help but think this could possibly be the last Thanksgiving we spend with my sweet mamaw and likely one of the last two my family will spend in the states.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:10-12  
I know I have used this verse before but I can honestly say that He does have great plans for my family and each day brings proof of that. Since my last post, Doyle and I have had to answer questions about our inner most being, details that most people don't know about us. I honestly felt violated in some way that couldn't really make sense but with God's help we made it through each and every round of questions. Both Doyle and myself were cleared on our psychological examination and moved on to the next step. I am guessing next week we will get an email or snail mail containing instructions for the next process. This is all becoming so real and moving so quickly, we are excited and I will admit, a little scared. I pray that I will be able to keep writing my blog when we are living half way around the world so I can keep everyone who reads this up to date on all that's going on with us and the people we will meet. For now, you all get to join us on the journey to the ends of the earth! We covet your prayers and thank each and every one of you. Be thankful of what and who God has placed in your lives today and always, you never know when it could all be taken away!

In His Name,
-K

Slowing Down

So, once again I have fallen behind on posting new things and I am terribly sorry. Lately I have had a difficult time keeping up with myself but that doesn't mean that I haven't had many great ideas and stories running through my mind. Yesterday, I was on my way to a follow up visit with my doctor and had a while before I needed to be there so I took the scenic route. It was a beautiful fall day, the colors were amazing and inspiration was all around me! As I slowed down for a deer crossing the road, I noticed a whole field full of turkeys, there had to be at least 30 or 40. I love the fact that when you slow down enough, God shows you things that you might have missed going fast!

Our journey to the ends of the earth has caused us to slow down quite a bit and we are learning so much about timing and patience. After our rejection letter from the first sending organization sent us back a few steps, we were hurt and confused about what to do next. Once again God showed us that He is in control of this journey. We received an email from a representative at a different organization, she wanted to make sure we were doing ok and if we were still interested in applying with them. We had a conference call and talked with her about the next steps and the process we needed to go through. We completed the application and waited for an answer, sure that it was probably going to be the same as the first one because of the fact that Doyle has a past that involves three divorces. The answer was not a no, they wanted Doyle to write about each divorce and where it went wrong, what he could have done differently, and where he was in his walk with God during all three marriages. This took a while and I had to watch my husband relive parts of his life that he never wanted to visit again! I could tell this was not at all easy for him to do but he completed it and sent it in. Then we waited...and it still wasn't a no! Then it was my turn, they did the math between our marriage date and the date that Abby was born. They wanted to verify that the dates were correct and that there wasn't a 5 month pregnancy so I sent the email. I explained that I was 3 months pregnant when Doyle and I were married. I also explained that this wasn't the reason we got married because I felt that would be the first thought when they got my answer. I don't agree with premarital sex but I wasn't the same person that I am now. I will tell you this, I explained in the email that I would not apologize for my daughters life, she is a blessing to us and I know for a fact that she was not a mistake. I showed the response to Doyle and told him that I was sorry if this is what makes them tell us no but I was not going to apologize for a life. Thankfully, God have me a husband who sees things in the same way and he agreed and we sent the email. It still wasn't a no! After an hour long conference call, we are now going through the psychological evaluation process.

The evaluation has questions like: Describe your dad. How did you feel about him growing up? How do you feel about him now? How is he involved in your life? Describe your parents' marriage. Did they live together? Were you raised by both of them? Who nurtured you and how was that demonstrated? What did they model?   Difficult questions on my end and Doyle has it easy on this one! I honestly hope that my upbringing doesn't cause the answer to be a no! We have come so far and answered so many questions to end with the fact that I was raised in a single parent home with an abusive father who chose drugs and alcohol over his wife and daughters.

Yesterday, when I was thinking about all of these questions during my drive I thought about a rock in a stream. The fact that this rock starts out jagged with sharp edges and over time all the passing waters smooth it out and the sharp edges disappear. It's just like us, we start out flawed and rough and God places different people and situations in our lives to smooth us out and make us beautiful. It's our choice to change for the good or to remain in the bad situations we are sometimes caught in. I made mistakes, Doyle made mistakes but that doesn't mean we didn't learn from them and grow closer to our creator. One thing we have both had to learn is the fact that our God sent His one and only Son to die a cruel death on a cross for our sins so that we may be forgiven and have a promise of eternal life in Heaven; and man has a difficult time with forgiving us of our sins and bad choices of our pasts. Your choices now and in your past, even when you think you have grown past them all, have their consequences at some point in your life. Take every situation to God in prayer, He will give you the desires of your heart!!!

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." John 3:16-17

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

God is sending us on this journey to the ends of the earth and I am happy to share our experiences with you all. I pray that some way, some how, this blog helps you or someone you know. If you have questions please feel free to comment or email me.

In His Name,
><>K<><

Bringing down the Prideful!!!

Proverbs 16:17-19 (NIV)

The highway of the upright avoids evil;

 those who guard their ways preserve their lives.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.

PRIDE...a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired; to be especially proud of a particular quality or skill.  This definition has never been something I considered myself...EVER!!!! Well, until this past week. I must admit with much conviction that I have been very prideful. Please allow me to explain...

Doyle and I started a new journey in our lives a couple of months ago and it has landed both of us a job in a huge retail company that shall remain unnamed for obvious reason! =) We both felt/feel like this is yet another step closer to our journey to the ends of the earth. With a freed spirit I left my job at the hospital to pursue new experiences in the retail pharmacy world. We had both been praying that God would place us in the jobs he wanted us in so I was at peace with this change because it was God lead all the way. This past week however, gave me those doubts...the looming "What in the world have I done" feeling deep in my gut. Unprofessional people treating those around them like they are disposable and nothing, hurt feelings by harsh words, treated like you are stupid, and talked down to. I tell myself daily that it will and has to get better but lately it has gotten worse. At lunch we both talk about how we have been talked to and what we have seen done to others around us and question why we are there. Until Thursday, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I knew the answer! Every job I have had, I have been known as the go to person, the one everybody depended on to do the job and to do it above and beyond what it needed to be. I wasn't a disposable person, I was an asset, a linchpin, I was needed....I was PRIDEFUL! I held my head high because I was all of these things and proud of it! Now, I am nothing...I am starting over and at 33 it feels like the very first job I ever had. I can't stand alone, I am not the go to, I don't know it all, I have to depend on others to help me learn what to do. Above all things, I am broken of my pride. 

God has opened my eyes to see that I need to be more dependent on Him and not to be puffed up in my own pride. It should be Christ that is seen in me and not my knowledge of how to do a job. My job is to share Him with the world and that should be my number one objective, I need to be God's go to, his asset, his linchpin, the person he knows will do the job above and beyond what is asked of me. My heart is broken...I have spent a month in this place and not once have I been a light for him. I have been mopey and full of self-pity wondering why I was going through all of this instead of seeing the big picture. I am so thankful that my God is forgiving and that He loves me enough to open my eyes to see past my own selfishness and pride to break me of it. I pray that I never return to that pridefulness and that people see Christ before they see Kay! 

Danger: Road Closed...Please Use Alternate Route

I travel the interstate almost daily so it seems appropriate that God gave me this message while driving to work one morning. You see, life is a lot like traveling the interstate, you usually have several other people there with you. Each of them, in some way, plays a part in you reaching your destination. Most people have a plan or a route designated to get them from point A to point B before getting on the interstate; some just wing it. I'm pretty sure my car has autopilot because there are days that I get to work and honestly don't realize I have been in the car for almost an hour! I pay attention to the road but I also notice the small things that most people never see. For instance, there's a family of turkeys that live in the woods right before the Paul Huff Pkwy exit, or maybe the deer (dead and alive) that are all over, and then there's the sunrise that pops up just as I get off the 25th Street exit. 

I spend my time talking to God the entire length of my trip most mornings and sometimes I spend it praising Him, singing all the way! This particular morning was spent talking to my Heavenly Father as He pointed out these similarities to me. When I get on the interstate I have one purpose, getting to work, but there could also be several things that keep me from getting there or cause me to alter my path. My life has one purpose as well, living for God. I want to to do what is pleasing to Him but often times there are people and things that cause me to alter my path and at times lose my focus completely. I guess you could compare it more like this; the interstate takes me on a pretty straight path to work and life takes me on a path I have chosen straight to the feet of God. 

As I was driving I thought about how cars are like the people in our lives, some are going way too fast, some way too slow, others may be reckless and all over the road, some sleepy and some focused on getting there. Regardless of how we get there, we are all going somewhere! Life is the same way, we are all going somewhere, be it heaven or hell, it's up to us to find the correct path. 

I also realized all the trash, tire pieces, car parts, and animals you see! These things can cause a few problems in your travels for sure.  I compared these to bad people, situations, drugs, alcohol, or just flat-out bad decisions we make. Hitting a deer causes significant damage to a car much like drugs and alcohol causes damage to your body. At times, theses things can correct or wreck us, they can make or break us. Most of all, they change how we get to where we are going. 

The route I travel is known for dense, heavy fog in certain areas. The closer you get to the fog zone, the bigger the signs. Some even light up with flashing messages to warn you of what lies ahead. Signs alert you to lower your speed and turn on your low beams. There are also places where the on ramps are blocked off to keep you from getting on the interstate. This reminds me of the Holy Spirit, our guide who warns us to steer clear of life's dangers. John 14:26 (NIV) But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 

One of the most crucial parts of the interstate would have to be the emergency lane. Most often you pass broken down cars/trucks and accidents pulled off into this lane. A few times I have used the emergency lane when rain come down so violently that I couldn't see where I was going. I would pull over until the storm cleared enough that I could safely continue my journey. Do we sometimes treat our prayer life like an emergency lane? Do we only use it when things get difficult or when things break down? Perhaps if we were in a constant state of communication with God, we would hardly ever be in need of the emergency lane. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (NIV) Pray continually

All of life's daily obstacles could easily cause us to lose our focus on the end result of our journey here on Earth. These things may cause us to want to take the off ramp and change our route because the one we are on has gotten too hard. My friend, let me encourage you to look not at today's situations but at what waits for you at the end. God is already there and knows what awaits us, we only need to trust and believe in Him. He will be with us always! Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV) Trust in the Lord with your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will straight your paths.

My prayer is that anyone reading this who may be stuck in the emergency lane or maybe you have pulled off your path completely because it's too hard, that God guides you back on the right path...the one that leads straight to Him. If you have questions or comments please feel free to message me. Thanks again to all who read this, sorry the posts have been few and far between...I find it hard to write when I'm not alone and in a quiet place!

Be Blessed,
><> K <><

Lemonade For Sale!

If I have heard it once, I have heard it a million times...When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Uggghhhh...honestly, I'm starting to get a few gallons of the stuff lately! Besides that, it gives me heartburn and it's sour so I don't care much for it. Couldn't we make something else like chocolate ice cream? I know, there's no good saying that could possibly make chocolate ice cream out of bad situations in life, but it was a good thought. Guess I should get to my point in all my lemonade making.

I should start with Doyle's job...the one that will no longer exist after Thursday! Just when we think we can get our bills paid off and become closer to being debt free...BOOM...a great big, fat lemon named Laid-off! I can honestly say we did not see this one coming! I have a job and I am thankful for it but it doesn't make enough for us to meet our monthly expenses and still have money for food and gas. Anyway, he will be able to draw unemployment, or at least we hope it's approved. That will help us out until he finds another job. Oh, did I mention the lemon named Uninsured? Yeah, he's new here too and will arrive at the end of June.

Meet my next guest, a lemon named Cancer. This lemon decided to attack a very close family member and also a close family friend. There are many details we haven't gotten to yet but cancer big or small is serious! No one was prepared for this very unwelcome lemon and I would give anything to rid our family and the world of such a horrible, life stealing disease.

Finally, my last guest for the day, a lemon named Rejected. Rejection never feels good, even when you're expecting it! After months of debating and discussing a company we had been praying about working for in order to live half way around the world; we filled out a very extensive application. This thing took a few hours to complete! When finished, we sent it prayerfully on its way for...REJECTION! Sure enough, that's exactly what we got. In our society, you can commit a crime and for the right amount of money have your charges ex sponged from you record. A divorce, however, can NEVER be taken off your record no matter the length of marriage or reason it didn't work out. It becomes your cross to bear from that day forward. Yes, I am very aware of what the Bible says about divorce but I also know what it says about forgiveness of sin.

Matthew 19:3-6 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?" "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate."

Matthew 19:9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

John 3:16-17 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that, whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

I also know that God does not look at a resume but at the heart; not at accomplishments but at potential. Please don't misunderstand me, I don't agree with the fact that my husband has been divorced three times, but I do know that he has been forgiven. The man I am married to is not the same, he has grown into a man of God. Ten years of being married to Doyle has allowed us both to grow into a couple seeking God's heart and answering the call He has placed on our lives.

Christians do have bad days, we have them just the same as everyone else, they just affect us differently. You see, through all this lemonade making, I put my hope and trust in Jesus. I know that no matter what the outcome is of all these lemons life is giving us, my God is in control. He is there guiding us every step of the way.

I put my trust in Jehovah-Jireh: The Lord who Provides (Genesis 22)
Jehovah-Rapha: The Lord who Heals (Exodus 15:22-26)
Jehovah-Nissi: The Lord our Banner (Exodus 17:8-15)

My God is with us, He goes before us and is already standing at the end of all these trials. It's up to us how we decide to deal with them. I am anxiously awaiting for new doors to open and the blessings each one of them will hold. One day when I am standing on foreign soil sharing Jesus with a new friend, I hope to look back on all these trials. I hope to have an understanding about all this figurative lemonade and see all that God has taught us through it. So, when life gives you lemons, put your trust in a God who can help you make some of the sweetest lemonade you have ever tasted!

My family and I desire and covet your prayers and are thankful for those of you who already lift us up! Thank you to those who have decided to follow us on our God driven journey to the ends of the earth, I hope these posts inspire you and help you along your journey through this life. Maybe you don't yet know this God I have given my life to and would like to know more, maybe you are drowning in life's lemonade, or maybe you have a question for me, please feel free to comment and I will get back to you. Thanks again and BE BLESSED!

-K
Doyle and LR thank you for your encouraging words!

Fearfully changed

I have always been one to let my mind wonder, usually at times I shouldn't, but that's just how I am. Lately, my mind is focused on our last trip halfway around the world. I know for certain that I left more of myself there this time than on our first trip. I continually play those eight days over and over in my head and find myself missing it badly. I never imagined that I would say something like that about a place so far from my comfort zone but God has changed my heart and life forever. Although, five days into our last trip I was ready to throw in the towel and never return! I guess I should explain the reason I am saying this. On this trip, we visited a new city and with that came another step in our journey.

We took the slow train, very unlike the bullet train we enjoy so much. It was during this train ride that our trusted "tour guide" informed us that he would be leaving us the following morning to take care of a few things in a different city but that someone else we knew would come and stay with us. He reminded us that we had a cell phone if we needed him or anyone else and to remember to always be flexible. He also let us know that we would be meeting and working with a new friend and he would take us wherever we needed to be for the next two days.  We arrived to trash filled streets full of people who did not appear to be as friendly as the people in the other two cities we visited. Immediately I felt uncomfortable here but continued on the ten minute walk to our hotel. A midst these trash filled streets was a huge city full of people who needed to hear about Jesus and all I could think about was the conversation we had just had on the train. I would be telling a huge lie if I said I did not panic in any way! We had dinner just the three of us then went back to the hotel for the night to get some rest. Not sure that there was much resting on my part but I tried. The next morning came quickly and we met for breakfast, which happened to be one of the better Western type meals we had since being there. However, I wasn't thinking about food...I was trying to figure out an escape plan! I knew we could find our way back to the train station and somehow communicate that we needed tickets back to our previous city. The city where I felt comfortable and not absolutely terrified! I kept my cool though, we said good bye to our "tour guide" and returned to our room to await our lunch meeting. I laid across the bed and busied myself with messaging a couple of my friends, trying to remain calm about the day ahead. Doyle asked if I wanted to walk down the street to Starbucks and that's when I lost it. I couldn't hold back the tears as I answered...no I did not want to go get coffee, I didn't want to leave the hotel, it was the only place I felt a little safe! The only way I wanted to leave the room is if we were going to go find the train station or get a taxi! I was ready to give it all up, I was convinced that this was NOT what God had in mind when He sent us here. I remember thinking, "I can't do this...it's too hard and I am scared to death...I really DO NOT want to be here! Maybe this isn't what I want to do anymore, I don't think I want continue this journey...honestly I want to go home!" I wonder if sometimes if God just shakes his head at us when we try to convince ourselves that what he has sent us to do isn't really what he wants us to do. Wonder if it's like...Kay Kay Kay Kay Kay, why must we go through this again? I know what I'm doing...after all, I am God! You would think that eventually I would get that and I am...just a little slower than I would like to admit! So anyway, Doyle reassured me that we were OK and getting out would be a good thing. We walked around the mall for a while and returned to find our lunch date waiting in the lobby.We left the hotel and met a group for lunch, they were very sweet and listened to our stories and asked questions. In the end, we gained one new sister in Christ and my thought process began to change. Later that evening we met another group for dinner and shared stories and answered lots of questions, again more believers. The next day went the same except the fact that Doyle and I had to split up. He went to one end of town and met a huge group of people and I returned to where we had dinner the night before and met a group. Now for those of you who know me you realize that this is not a situation I would find myself excited to be in but it was unbelievable how God was working through us being there. In the end, all who attended both of those meals became believers. Needless to say, we both slept well that night!

"Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will uphold you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

The next morning we had breakfast at the hotel, our last day in this city and our friend came to take us to visit an orphanage across town. We stopped at a small store across the street from the entrance gate to the orphanage and bought two huge bags of candy. Once inside we met such precious little people and their sweet caretakers. My heart was broken looking into there eyes and wondering what the future held for them. It was amazing to see how these children lit up over a tasteless piece of candy that my own nine year old turned her nose up to when I let her try a piece. We are so Blessed here in America and don't even realize it. In one of the houses, a small girl who looked to be around two came running up to me holding her arms high wanting me to pick her up. As I picked her up she studied my face for a few minutes then noticed the ties for the hood on my jacket and began playing with them. I took one and rubbed her cheek like I used to with Abby and she smiled the biggest smile possible. If I could have brought her home with me I would have, she definitely stole my heart. I see that little face each and every day and I pray that she finds the surgical help she needs and a forever home where she is loved unconditionally. I hated to walk out those doors knowing that most of those precious children would remain there until around the age of fourteen and then some of them will end up begging on the streets for the rest of their lives.

After our very emotional and eye opening experience at the orphanage, we headed out for our last lunch meeting in the new city. Once again, God showed up and made His presence known and all prayed to believe! In all, twenty-three people became our new brothers and sisters in Christ in this city that I wanted so badly to leave. Just think, if I had given in to my fears and convinced Doyle to leave that first day, those twenty-three people may never have known the love of God. Fear is a disease that cripples anyone who gives into it. God did not send me that far to lose myself in my fear of the unknown. He already knew the great things that would happen when we got there; He just needed my hands, my feet, my heart, and my voice to share His love with these special people.

I pray that fear isn't holding you captive today, please do not let it steal your life. Let God use you and know that He is always with you and will give you the strength you lack. "Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak into the light; and what you hear in your ear, preach on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:27-31 Do something that scares you and takes you our of your comfort zone today....tell someone about Jesus! Be Blessed and Shine!

Love to all,
Kay

Surrender...sweet surrender.

Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:7
Surrender...wait patiently....but God this is really, really hard! Especially the waiting part, I am not good at that, you know this, after all, you made me. Doyle and I have to know yesterday if the money will get here in time to buy those plane tickets and if there will be enough to pay for all we need to pay for while we are there, I am scared and worried that it wont happen. My heart aches at the thought of not going, not telling, not loving....I can't wait. Kay, be still and know that I am God. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Remember the things I have shown you and how I promised you that I would take care of all three of you on this journey, I did not call you out for you to be scared of the unknown. I have already gone ahead of you, I am with you, and I will follow behind you wherever I send you.

Why is it so difficult to let go of things, especially to the creator of the universe and of us? He knows the number of hairs on my head and my every thought and still I choose to try and control my life instead of letting Him do it! I love how He always proves me wrong when I do this and I pray that I do not continue this habit of trying to have control.

Yesterday started off just like every Saturday has for the past couple of months. Upward Cheer leading, Walmart, then off to church at FaithPromise! Yes, the three of us go to church on Saturday and Sunday and we wouldn't have it any other way! Clearwater is our home church and where we spend most of our time but Saturday nights are spent at FP! Anyway, after church we had to run by the ATM to make a deposit so Doyle pulls up and goes through the transaction and begins to drive away but pulls into a parking spot instead. I asked Doyle what he was doing and he showed me our ATM receipt...the balance was quite a bit larger than it should be. I couldn't stop the tears and immediately thanked my sweet God! If you read my first blog you know that we were worried about our tax return not getting here until the absolute last minute...it came yesterday. The seven day hold we put on the plane tickets in order to keep them at the lowest price they have been was due to expire on the 26th, taxes weren't due to be deposited until March 2nd, and we had already checked on the giving at church...we honestly thought May was looking like a better option for us! After my little rant on Monday and God setting me straight on having faith and patience and letting HIM control things, He let the blessings rain! Our plane tickets were bought last night and God brought an awesome message through Pastor Wayne this morning that was one of his best yet! After the service, Doyle hands me an envelope when we got in the Jeep, it was from a couple that we have grown to love, in this envelope contained $1000 for our trip. When they had handed it to Doyle the explained that they would never be able to go but wanted to be a part of our going and go with us through their gift. I cannot begin to express the emotions that come with something like this...we know 110% that this is where God wants us to be. We are blessed beyond anything we could ever be worthy of and all it took was SURRENDER!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with ALL your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity. Jeremiah 29:11-14

Please continue to pray for us and for those we will reach...


Be Blessed,
-K

God's Timing

Yesterday was difficult for me in more ways than one and I spent the majority of my day holding back tears. My journey, actually...our journey, began almost two years ago when my husband, Doyle, came to me and said we needed to talk but only after our daughter had gone to bed. Immediately, my mind raced into the thoughts of what he could possibly need to tell me that was so bad he couldn't say it in front of our daughter. I began to think the worst, that he had found someone else and has decided to leave us behind for a new life. I grew up in a broken home and have always told myself our daughter would not know the pain of that life. Was this going to be the day it all fell apart? I drove him crazy, begging him to just tell me what it was, that I could handle it no matter how bad it was gonna be. Of course, at that moment he realized what he had sent me into and reassured me that it was NOT what I had let my mind convince me it was going to be! That man knows me all too well!!!! So, finally we sat down to have our little talk and the first thing from his mouth was, "I am going to ask you a question and I want the first answer that pops into your head, do not tell me what you think I want to hear!". Once again, he knows me too well! So he asks me if I feel that God is calling me to do something, is there an area that we are failing at? Immediately I answer, "we aren't telling people about Him and we need to go and tell them" Tears poured from his eyes as he explained all the things God had been revealing to him and shared his heart with me. We both knew that prayer was first and foremost before we told anyone about it. We prayed as a family and separately for God to show us where and what exactly He was leading us to. This was also during a time that our church puts on a life changing drama about the ways the devil lies to us and causes us to turn from what we know is right to keep us from turning to God. After the final performance, we set aside a Sunday dedicated to the cast and crew, and to pray for those who accepted Christ during drama. It was this Sunday that God would call us out! The message was about being "All In", something we were not even close to at this point. After the message when it was time to pray, I don't even remember walking to the stage but I soon found myself on my face before God pouring out my heart and surrendering to being all in for Him! There were several people around me but I soon realized that Doyle had joined my side and right then and there we both told God, here I am, send me, no matter what we have to surrender we are willing to give it up and go for you. Thus began our journey to the ends of the earth.
You have to understand that both of us are "stuff" people...Doyle more so than me but none the less we have way more than we will ever really need in this lifetime! Both of us began to read Radical by David Platt and he opened our eyes to a whole new perspective on our need for stuff. This was a hard lesson to swallow and I would be lying if I said we didn't fall back into those bad habits once in a while but it has gotten much better. We have learned to pray about everything and to ask if it is something that we need and how can God use us through it. We have all three developed a heart for the lost and know where God wants to send us and use us to further His Kingdom. It is amazing to love a group of people you don't even know that are half a world away. To give up the comforts of your daily life to go and tell these people about a God who loves them, a God who isn't out to punish them or hurt them because they don't bring offerings or do certain rituals. I can't wait to share with them all the things that God has shown me about His love and promises for us all.
There's a lot more about our story and I intend to be absolutely transparent with you about what God brought us out of to send us out for His good and not for our worldly gain. But, I'm sure you are wondering why I started this out so broken hearted. Doyle and I had been planning our return trip to the city God is leading us to in March. We took a step of faith and let our friends there know that we would be coming so that our dates could be locked in and the arrangements could be made. We knew we would have our income taxes to pay for the plane tickets at least and the rest we prayed that God would provide. Our taxes have been delayed and will probably get here two weeks before we are set to leave and so far our funding is pretty low. Yesterday, I was crushed at the thought of not getting to go, not getting to share and the thought of how many people we might have had contact with could die to an eternal hell. It was difficult to hold back tears on my 13 hour hospital shift knowing that we might not go. I let Satan take hold of my thought process and drag me down to where I doubted that God even wanted us to go and doubted that it mattered to anyone other than Doyle and myself that these people are lost and dying. That's when we got an email from our friends letting us know that it's OK if we can't come in March, that if we need to wait then we could come in May. At the end of this email they wrote, "we know the Fathers  timing is perfect".  It was like a great big slap in the face! Of course His timing is perfect, it isn't mine and we already agreed to give Him complete control so why was I running around acting like a baby! I broke down on my drive home and apologized for my reaction and let it go! This morning I pulled up the airline tracker Doyle and I have been using and the flights for March are $800 cheaper. Once again, God's timing is perfect, after all, it was never our time to begin with! I want to close today with this verse, Romans 8:28 says: And we all know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to His purpose.   Be blessed today and everyday knowing that you have a Heavenly Father who delights and sings over you with an amazing love!  -K